So Gary Chapman’s concept of the Five Love Languages may be a little too … exclusive. But I think it’s always good to be that bit more self-aware and we shouldn’t expect broad brushstrokes to colour our every nuance anyway. So just for the record, here are mine — the top three — with explication from the official site:
1. Quality Time — cos how else do I know you’re for real?
In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there — with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby — makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether it’s spending uninterrupted time talking with someone or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.
2. Acts of Service — definitely cultivated by the expectations and example of my parents!
Can helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved.
3. Words of Affirmation — needless to say … for someone who grew up with her nose in more books than flowers.
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important — hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.
You can suss out your own lurve languages here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/. Let me know what they are? It’ll mean you spent quality time to give me this act of service that will result in words of affirmation …