The importance of being impotent

Sorry if the krazy kaleidoscope in the previous post is a bit freaky. Just felt like being a bit self-indulgently freakish while winding down at the end of a mad run.

Speaking of which, I haven’t done the dutiful and exercised in a long while, which meant this week’s total of Three Times so far has been killer — I must have pulled something major in the quads area, rendering me unable to move downslope without the stiffness of unadulterated pain. Not so schweet. But as my Obama sticker says: Be the Change. Or was that Gandhi?

Gandhi, Gandhi. Discovered in an upsetting fashion today that dreaming about a friend two days in a row meant something was happening with that friend. Thank God it was not some physical injury, but I felt like an impotent cow stuck all the way across the South China Sea, knowing that someone was despicable or insane enough to stick a knife in such a kind soul. Up rose an anger that desired action.

Whether the venom was dealt with malicious intent or throwaway callousness, I was reminded that even when the hurt doesn’t lie with me, it is imperative to forgive, lest I fall into the trap of unforgiveness I advise others to avoid. So I’m thankful I rode the red tide to a better place and ruminated on the gloriousness and myriad charms of the victimised — the true victim is of course the perpetrator, the one who is damaged.

Because later on, not an hour or so ago, I suddenly remembered the villain is married to someone I’m quite fond of. If this one can see the good in that one … I’m glad I had no idea who the offender really was this afternoon. I might just have followed through on the vivid fantasy of giving the malefactor a vicious dressing down, or at least organised some sort of nefarious campaign of cold revenge. But:

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
— Romans 12:19-21

So, let there be love, even if there are those who would tear it down in the hour of greatest need. To my dear friend, know that every one of those ten things came from the heart. To my delirious enemy, know this:

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.
— James 1:26

And:

Whoever desires to love life
and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from speaking deceit
— 1 Peter 3:10

So be it.

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