Save me the blushes

I love going to the movies. Choosing what to watch, heading to the cinema, the big yes-moment when I get my ticket, maybe getting some sweet popcorn, maybe trawling the racks of the adjacent DVD store if it’s Broadway Cinematheque in HK or Prince in Singapore, making sure I’m ‘relieved’ before a two-hour sit-and-desist, announcing my two-hour membership to the usher, navigating to the right theatre, finding the new world that is my seat, checking out the neighbours, ridiculing or revelling in the trailers, squirming for comfort as the final hush descends while the curtains frame the screen snugly, I love it all. Heck, I also love waking back to life after the movie, exchanging a look and/or a nod with my companion if applicable, waiting for the credits to finish rolling, or not, and trundling out of the theatre on the murmurs of the crowd.

So all that was my consolation tonight after watching 愛到底 or L-O-V-E, a film quartet that I’d only heard about today and ended up watching because 方文山 (Vincent Fang, Jay Chou’s right-hand lyricist) wrote and directed one of the shorts, and 阮經天 was in one of the others. Oh, regret.

The first one, which I’m told is by a famous Internet novelist, has a neat structure, but its tears are better left for ink or pixels.

The second one, by 方文山, could do without his wordiness of concept, though I appreciate what I hope is his poking fun at MVs — but then again the whole story did end up feeling like a Jay Chou MV, with the girls and the antiques and the dream logic.

The third one is with 阮經天 and that other girl from 不能說的祕密 (Secret), and is the most arthousey. And screwed by a sudden change of temperament, but maybe I’m just harsh from being bored by whispers.

The fourth one was a waste of time, an oddity that I wouldn’t have bothered to watch on Youtube. It’s by 黃子交 and felt like a horrid chimera of the worst of cutesy Taiwanese comedy and Stephen Chow-style 無理頭 nonsensical humour, just not anywhere as good. Well, I’m being mean. Maybe he was going for that dire effect, and the kids in the audience did have a laugh.

And I’m just being grumpy — it repels me when pretend-cutesyness (裝可愛) is used as a feminine mask. And that mask was put on way too early in the very first short. For example, how come the female lead has the mood to put on a white bunny hairclip when she’s supposed to be crying her eyeballs out? The mask stays on in each and every short, and ends up on the boys in 黃子交’s short. It was friggin’ horrible. And lightsabers are ruined for me now, but just for now I hope.

And my threshold for cutesy pain was that much lower today because I tried but failed to get tickets for Sylvia Chang’s play — completely sold out. What’s new. I’m missing everything! 陳綺貞, Jason Mraz, and now 張艾嘉 and 鄭元暢 in a play that I’d already missed in Singapore over Chinese New Year. Sucks!

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