27. Dhoom (2004) — Sayesha, you’re right, John Abraham melts the screen, such is his hawt hawt hawt-ness. I think he’s just not as photogenic as he is telegenic, hence my initial whatever-ness. Now about the movie … as I feared, the objectification of women and their plasticky submission to such objectification continues to wallow in a nadir. What’s up with the can’t-watch-with-my-granny-around beginning (saved by jiggable song, though what does “shikdum” mean)? Establishing hawt-ness of Abhishek Bachchan? Predictable plot (the borrowings from here there and everywhere were too obvious), humdrum posturing (plus the SFX envelope could have been pushed much further), choons of varying toe-twiddle-ness. But it’s all strangely wired with a wry sense of humour. Uday Chopra is much more watchable here with his clothes on (re: Mohabbatein), the guy can be quite funny in a chipmunk-ish sort of way (what’s a “walla”?). Abhishek Bachchan too, in a Mr Badger sort of way (nice glasses!). Everyone except for John Abraham and SRK, please keep your shirts on, merci beaucoup. Ahem.