20. Dil Se (1998) — Despite initial fears of great-movie-ruined-by-horrible-ending syndrome, this one turned out pretty well, though the conclusion was still a shocker. May I never fail to be shocked by senseless loss of life. Dil Se has a lot of power in it, be it the power of instinctual emotions, merciless logic, indomitable spirit or sickening injustice. Even the dance sequences were sweeping statements, both abstract in form and straightforward in suggestion. Even the cinematography was intriguing. This is one movie that will return to my mind’s eye now and again.
Last few days at work were marred by a conflict of philosophy with someone who has become a treasured kaki, but thank goodness it has been resolved. I can understand how it is hurtful to be left out of something, I think that was the only bad thing with what I and another good kaki was trying to do — give the said kaki a pleasant surprise by spouting fluent Hindi to her one fine day. Ha! The best laid plans of mice and men. So now, no more secrets, only serene madness.
Ah, the last day of gainful employment at my first full-time job. Told the exit interview lady that though I didn’t have anything to show for in terms of worldly honours (i.e. a promotion), I am going away with a trove of experience, skills and, yes, kindred spirits. I can’t think of how another workplace would give me as much space and tolerance to just be my silly self and make my sordid mistakes. Thank you, all, the good, the bad, and the downright frustrating.
As a sidenote, can I just proclaim that I’d left work at 2.30 a.m. on my last day at the office to finish the stuff I should’ve done earlier and woke up at 6.30 a.m. on my official last day for the book launch. Gar! Was so undone at the end of things that I said stuff like, “So you dipped your noise in the car paint, that’s why there’s a dent is it?”. Did a lot of hugging of bodies and shaking of hands that day. I just don’t know what to say when people seem to like you enough to miss you, at least for a while, and say nice things about you. Thought I would cry but I didn’t, even when 3/4 of the office peeps turned out in pink to say bye on Wednesday. I cry instead when Shahrukh asks Manisha Koirala to “just say yes, once”, while they’re hidden from unsuspecting eyes behind a door, huh. Maybe just waiting for that right, private moment, then.
Final note: Am typing this at LP’s place, while she and two others ex-office kakis are watching some twisted show with the Amelie girl. Good times, good times. Thank you, Lord, for your presence all around. Panicked a little today when I realised I have no bush and no bird anywhere in sight, being out of a job and in a fairytale world of my own making. But hey. Ready! Set! Go!